#he’s so tmi coded | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

jamminvroomvroom · 1 year ago

Note

I absolutely adore your writing,

For the celebration, could you please do virgin reader first time with Oscar?

sunshine.

op x fem!reader - 4k celebration

in which oscar arrives home to an unexpected guest…

hi hi hi! thank you so much anon, i hope this is what you wanted!! trying to get through requests, loving hearing from you guys! this one is so cute i think, let me know ur thoughts 😚😚

songs to set the mood: fall in love with you by montell fish, fade into you by mazzy star, like real people do by hozier

warnings: 18+!! minors dni!!! smut, fluff, friends to lovers, sleepy baby oscar, teeny tiny bit of angst, mutual pining, r’s first time, swearing

2.9k words

oscar’s exhausted, shoulders sagging beneath the thick material of his mclaren hoodie. he’s glad he left it in his carry on, the miserable london weather not even remotely living up to the warm glow of the middle eastern sun.

he craves his bed, dreamless sleep, entering the code to get into his building and slumping against the cool mirrored wall of the elevator. his eyes droop as the lift travels up, and the ding that sounds when he reaches his floor breathes life back into him.

the double header that kickstarted the season has knackered him, and he longs for alone time and silence to recuperate before he has to deal with the noise of going home and racing in front of a familiar crowd.

his key slides into the lock and he pushes the door open, throwing his bags by the door - he’ll deal with them later. the hoodie is shrugged off and dropped haphazardly on the floor next to the shoes he kicks off. his bed is calling. dazed, he trudges down the hallway, but he’s spooked by a faint sound coming from his bedroom.

as he primes himself to investigate, he hears footsteps, light and quiet against the floorboards. he goes to open his bedroom door, breathing heavy, but he just about jumps out of his skin when it swings open before he gets there. he yelps, and so do you, leaping into the air.

“you scared the shit out of me.” you shout, hand over your thumping heart.

“i scared you? what are you doing here?” oscar bites back, running his hand through his brown locks.

“sorry, sorry, i didn’t mean to be here without your permission but… it’s a long story. i didn’t think you’d be home yet.” you smile apologetically.

“sofa.” oscar mumbles, stalking past his bedroom and towards the living room. “what’s goi- are you wearing my shirt?” he splutters, finally looking at you properly.

your face heats up, and you cross your arms awkwardly.

“um, yeah? god, this is all so embarrassing.” you cover your face, falling onto the sofa. he plonks down beside you.

“tell me what happened.” oscar sighs.

“he dumped me.”

“oh.”

“yeah.”

“why?” oscar asks softly. “ugh, i knew i hated him for a reason.” he wrinkles his nose.

“i don’t know how to explain this without wading into major tmi territory.” your voice is small, quivering slightly.

“you can tell me, love.” he encourages gently.

“he found it weird that i’m, uh, a virgin?” you squeak, your voice raising into a question. oscar goes as red as you are.

“oh. oh.”

“oh god, you’re freaked out too. is there something wrong with me? like, why has this not happened? i thought i was ready with him, but then when it came down to it…” you ramble, trailing off.

“there’s nothing wrong with you.” oscar states, firm and serious. “him, on the other hand.” he shakes his head, disgusted. “he wasn’t good enough for you.” he spits.

“do you mind if i stay here?” you whisper, leaning into his side. “or, keep staying here?” you laugh softly. oscar joins in.

“you know you can always stay here.” he smiles sleepily. you’re just about the only person in the world he can stand right now, and always, actually. “but i need a nap, you coming?”

you nod and follow him to his room. the tv is still on, the one with monica and chandlers wedding playing quietly. oscar smiles. he knows it’s your favourite.

he flops onto his side of the bed, dropping off almost instantly. you watch over him, enamoured and sympathetic, in awe of him and the life he lives. you slip into bed beside him, leaving a respectable distance between you and the aussie.

you pass out right around chandler’s vows.

you stir between two thick arms. pale, warm skin is wrapped around you, oscar’s soft breath fanning your face as he sleeps.

you watch him, scanning each and every mole on his face, trying to ground yourself. you combat the anxiety of being in his arms, choosing to enjoy the moment, while he’s still peaceful. it’s nice to feel wanted, even if he’s unconscious.

for the first time, you’re glad your ex broke up with you, because how does it make sense that you feel safer, more wanted in the arms of your best friend?

“stop staring, ‘m gonna blush.” oscar mumbles, clearing his throat. his eyes are still shut, but he just knows you too well.

oscar opens his eyes slowly, blinking away sleep. you stare at each other, comfortable silence eating away at the palpable tension.

you kiss him.

because why wouldn’t you? it’s oscar, your oscar, and he’s sleepy and cosy and gorgeous, and you’ve waited too fucking long. you can’t resist it any longer, free from the bounds of being someone else’s.

his lips are warm, and he’s startled, but the surprise doesn’t falter him; just as quickly as you kiss him, he’s kissing you back. his large hand finds your face, and the other finds your waist, pulling you closer. you melt into him, impossibly closer than you already were.

he’s gentle with you, tentative but firm and you part your lips, letting him lick into your mouth. his tongue strokes softly over yours and you keen at the sensation. he pushes you onto your back, balancing on his elbow half hovering over you. your hair fans out onto the pillow, his soft fingers running through your strands, pushing them away from your flushed face. oscar pulls away, scanning your face.

“sorry.” you smile up at him, breathless.

“apology very much accepted. i’ve been wondering when that would happen.” he laughs incredulously.

“really?”

“what can i say? i’m irresistible.” he replies dryly, exercising his sense of humour that was a foundation of your friendship.

“yeah. you kinda are.” you giggle bashfully.

and then he’s kissing you again, pressing himself even closer to you. you welcome him in, wrapping your arms around his lean frame, feeling over his shoulders. he’s tense, restrained, groaning into you at the feeling of your hands raking over his back.

“we should stop.” he mumbles, noses bumping. you frown.

“why?”

“because you said earlier, you’re not ready for this and i’m… well, things are gonna get real awkward if we keep going.” he chokes out half a laugh, glancing down at his-

“oh.”

“yeah, i just, i don’t want to make you uncomfortable. we can go slow.”

“osc, i wasn’t ready with him,” you pause, collecting your thoughts. “but you’re not him.”

“i suppose that’s true.” he shrugs.

“then you better do something.”

oscar lays you back, climbing over you completely this time. his trails over your jaw, taking your chin between his fingers.

“are you sure about this? we can stop anytime, just say the words.”

“‘m sure, oscar. i want to do this with you.” you coo, reassuringly.

his lips run over your neck, your collarbone, and he mouths at the collar of the t-shirt that you’re wearing. his t-shirt. his.

“gonna take this off, yeah?” he asks, whispering low, right by your ear.

“yeah, please.” you say, your own hands running under his t-shirt and up his muscular back. he’s relaxed now, no tension between his shoulder blades, and so you push the material up, and he slips it over his head. his warm digits peel your shirt off, too, and you’re warm all over when his eyes trail over your chest.

you’d forgone a bra, ditching it when you’d arrived at his place, and his pupils are blown wide, hazel hues sparkling with desire. his hands slide up your ribcage, thumbing at the underside of your breasts, while he plants open mouthed kisses down your chest. your eyes flutter shut, gasping softly as he skims your nipple.

“oscar.” you breathe, the light whimper sending his blood rushing south.

“does that feel good?” he asks, searching your face for answers.

“more.” you sound strained, desperate, and he aches.

his sucks your nipple into his mouth, swirling his tongue around the swollen bud. he toys with the other one, massaging your breast with his skilful fingers, tweaking and pulling until you’re panting beneath him. he pulls away with a pop, licking over to the other side, deciding to test your limits when he nips delicately at the peak. you moan, bucking your hips, hypersensitive to his every move.

you can feel how hard he is, his grey joggers growing tighter with every passing second.

“want all of you, osc.” you plead.

“need to get you ready for me first, okay honey?” he rubs circles into your sides, warm and calloused. you relax fully, lifting your hips.

oscar mouthed over your belly, peppering sunshine-like kisses down your abdomen until he finds the band of your loose shorts. he mumbles something into you navel about taking them off and you nod, enthusiastic and frantic. you can feel his smile branding your sensitive skin. the material glides down your thighs, pooling at your ankles, and you kick them away. he parts your thighs, making himself comfortable on his belly, and thumbs at the crease of your leg, toying with your panties.

he drags his pointer finger over your covered slit, up and down slowly, applying more pressure every time he brushes over your clit. oscar can see where you’re starting to seep through your panties and he stifles a low groan, anxious to peel the cotton off of your body, the final barrier separating him from you, so he does, pulling them slowly down your legs. he studies your face as he does, keeping his eyes firmly on yours. your lip catches between your teeth, aching as you watch, helpless and wet.

oscar kisses your hip bone, sucking gently until he’s stained it purple, and then his warm breath is fanning your cunt. your eyes squeeze shut.

“look at me, baby. gotta keep your eyes on me.” oscar mutters. your pussy clenches around nothing at the tone of his voice. you pry your eyes open, just about managing to prop yourself up on your elbows. “that’s it, honey. has anyone ever done this to you before?”

you shake your head, no. he smiles to himself, like he knows something you don’t, and dives in.

his tongue works in slow strokes, dragging through your slick with intent, eyes locked with yours. you must look like a deer in headlights, pupils blown, shocked with pleasure when you collapse against the mattress. he wraps his lips around your clit, sucking, tasting, and your legs go weak, splayed open all for him. you whimper as he tugs your clit between his teeth, just enough to graze over the sensitive nerves. it sends your hips flying, bucking wildly against his face.

“osc…” you breathe, squeezing your eyes shut.

“‘m gonna give you some more, is that okay?” he asks, nose bumping your clit.

“yes, please.” you don’t know what more is, but you need it like air.

you feel a finger glide over your sodden flesh, rubbing over your entrance. you sigh out, oh, anticipation and bliss sending white heat down your spine. he circles his finger around your opening, coating it in you, and carefully slides it in, feeling out for any sign of tension or discomfort. when you grind your hips onto the single digit, he knows you’re okay.

it feels good, better than anything you’d ever felt on your own, and you writhe against his bedspread. he thrusts a couple of times, experimenting, seeing what makes you squirm for him the right way, and when his finger curls, hooking deliciously, he knows he’s struck gold. you arch off the bed, searching for more, more, anything.

“another one.” you cry, begging, and oscar’s not one to tease. not yet, anyway.

a second finger joins the lonesome first, and he finds some pace, fucking into you faster. he scissors the digits, stretching you out for him, enjoying the pretty view. he’s achingly hard now, rocking discreetly into the mattress, losing his mind as he watches how you drip around his fingers. he wants another taste of you, addicted already to sweet, salty honey, so he has to finish you off, lap your mess off of his long fingers.

“i think- i think-“ you can’t get the words out, they’re lost on your tongue, but oscar knows what you mean.

“that’s it, baby. so good for me, doing so good. cum for me.” he spurs you on, drawing it out of you.

you let go, crashing biblically, the high sending you to heaven and back, two times over. he grinds his fingers, softer, just enough to help you through it and you chant his name like you’re praying at an alter. you know that you’ll never be over this. your oscar.

“holy shit.” you giggle, smiling lazily as you return to the world of the living. he’s licking his fingers clean; you could black out so easily.

“did you enjoy that?” he punctuates with a kiss to your belly, crawling up your body until he’s hovering over you.

“maybe you should do it again, just so that i can really make sure that i did.” you tease. your hand rakes through his hair, pushing it back off of his face. he’s grinning down at you, eyes fluttering shut. “that was amazing.” you whisper. he’s blushing when he kisses you, and then you are too, when you taste yourself on his tongue.

he moans against your lips, making you pull back. your hand leaves his brown strands, joining your other, which is currently voyaging down his back.

“you’re wearing too many clothes.” you whisper, lips bumping his as your hands slide under the waistband of his sweats. something desperate emits from the back of his throat. you push them over his hips, fisting the thick fabric, eager to have him bare on top of you once and for all. oscar helps, kicking them away, boxers too.

you can feel him, thick and wet between your thighs, his breathing uneven. your nails graze his hip and he jolts, collapsing on top of you, his full weight covering your keening body. he kisses into the crook of your neck, frantic; you need him deep, immediately, his urgent change in form leaving you flushed.

“you want me?” he whispers into your ear, leaving you shivering.

“so bad.” you pant.

“i’ll be gentle.” he promises.

he guides himself through your folds, slippery and warm, all for him. he nudges the head inside of you, hips stuttering at the blinding tightness. you gasp, but he catches it in his mouth, softly moulding his lips to yours as he pushes further. you open up for him, pliant, and when he eventually bottoms out, he holds himself there, letting you adjust.

“oh, fuck.” your eyes roll back, nails leaving crescent marks in his shoulders.

“so good for me, so pretty.” oscar grunts. “say when, baby.” he breathes, rubbing soothing circles into your hip.

“move.”

oscar rolls his hips, rocking you into the mattress. he hooks your knee over his waist, driving himself deeper and deeper with every thrust. you’re boneless, lost to the delectable stretch, to the way his cock seems to touch every part of you that makes you quiver.

“tell me how it feels.” oscar murmurs, grip tightening on your thigh.

“fuck, oscar, it’s so good. ‘m so glad it’s you.” your voice shakes, raw with emotion.

“me fucking too.” he mumbles, increasing his pace ever so slightly.

his thrusts lull into more of a grind, reaching your depths and revelling in the way you only get tighter for him. you’re spilling around him, already so close to meeting your end, and all it takes is the calloused pad of his thumb brushing your bundle of nerves to have you convulsing. you’re somewhere else entirely, on a whole other spiritual plane, utterly and completely his as he fucks you through your second orgasm.

when he spills, white hot and sweat slicked, he gushes endless hushed whines of your name. it sounds perfect when he says it like this, rolling off of his tongue with dire urgency.

his dampened hair falls over his darkened eyes, full of stars and total adoration. you’re smiling sleepily up at him like he’s made of sunshine. you always thought he was, and now you know that he most definitely is.

the most beautiful sunshine man.

“hi.” he whispers.

“hi.” you whisper back.

an intimacy, different to the one you’ve just shared, blossoms between you, encapsulating you here with him endlessly.

“i’m gonna clean you up, ‘n then we’re gonna order food.” he gazes fondly, stroking your hair.

“perfect.” you agree.

“put friends back on, i’m gonna run you a bath.” he begrudgingly stands from the bed, trailing towards the en-suite.

“you’re gonna join me in there, right?” you admire his naked frame as he disappears into the bathroom.

“obviously.” he pokes his head out once more to scoff, and you lay there, grinning like the worlds most lovesick idiot, your thoughts dulled by the sound of running water.

when the bath is full of hot water and too many bubbles, he gets in first, and you sink into the revitalising heat. oscar pulls you close, your back to his chest, kissing over your hairline as you mould yourself against him.

“thank god you broke in.”

oh i’m soft

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lemme know if you wanna be added or removed <3

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hyunjining · 2 months ago

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in honor of stray kids’ 7th debut anniversary, here are some of my favorite hilarious skz moments that i can think of off the top of my head

- seungmin falling in love with the handsome male ghost and willingly letting him drag him away from the other members

- i.n headbutting a ball directly into changbin’s head

- hyunjin repeatedly failing at hitting those poker chips without making the water bottle fall over and then lee know calmly doing it on his first try

- i.n hitting the tee across the room instead of hitting the baseball like 5 times in a row

- [big butt maketh big sound]

- the entire helium-inhaling segment of suspicious lab skz code

- five year old channie saying “moooooom” every time auntie hyunjin did anything in skz family 2

- auntie hyunjin shrieking after accidentally speaking english during the game where they were not supposed to speak english

- “you are the loser!!! you die!!! i kill you!!!” - lee know to changbin

- “what useless thing would you win a gold medal in?" // han: touching butt. [...] touching butt gold medal.

- “excuse me, what is this? where’s the button controlling your sexy mode? sexy mode~ it’s so hot, i got burned!” - changbin to hyunjin

- chan bugging lee know while lee know was holding a pair of scissors and then apologizing profusely because lee know turned the scissors upright

- felix’s 2023 birthday live where the staff gave him angel wings and he flapped his way across the screen and then reality hit and he said “what am i DOING?”

- seungmin: [flops down on the bed] dead. // i.n: you’re dad? // seungmin: i’m dead. // i.n: no you’re my bro.

- hyunjin and felix recounting the time they waxed felix at their old dorm and almost gaving tmi about where exactly they waxed while han looked on in bafflement

- “seungmin in the building? no, seungmin in the car.”

- lee know gifting changbin pink panties for his birthday

- changbin wearing a t-shirt depicting a t-rex fucking the statue of liberty

- han getting a slap on the neck from changbin for being too silly during topline recording

- 3racha winning an award while han and seungmin were on the way to the bathroom and han sprinting to the stage (and hyunjin missing the entire thing bc he was already in the bathroom)

- the “that’s (not) very noice” epidemic of 2024

happy anniversary my skz!!! please keep being silly together for a long, long time!!!

#just a really unserious group of people #i love them sm #skz

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johanirae · 4 months ago

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HOTD | Aemond and Lucerys pouring all their love and affection into letters that the other will never receive. (Because Otto is an asshole and steals them, at the cost at his own mental health)

Text in panel behind cut for easier reading:

Text here for easier reading

Taoba, why do you choose to torment me so. Was it not enough that you have taken my eye, now you must steal my heart and my mind?

That single glance of you at the training yard was enough to stoke a fire I have never experienced before. You occupy every moment of my thoughts. I burn for you. I want to grab your arms, push you down onto my bed. I want to bury my head in between your thighs.

If you would not reply my letters, then why must you insist on giving me those glances at dinner? Those desperate, lingering glances, as if you do not see how much I burn for you?

Qybor. This is my fifth letter this week. Will it once again go unanswered? You must think me a fool, but I am not. I am merely a weak individual driven mad by love for own uncle. What would it take for you to answer? I would not just give you my eye, I will give you my heart and my body. Let me lay down on your bed. Let me worship every inch of your lean, beautiful, sculpted body. Even just for one night.

I receive such mixed messages from you, dearest Aemond. You refuse to answer my letters, yet you spit fire at any squire who even smiles in my direction. I confess, I have taken to smiling back at them, if only to provoke your ire. It is better than being ignored.

Otto who wishes he doesn’t have to intercept Aemond and Lucerys’ letters, he doesn’t WANT to read all of this sappy, smutty, saccharine letters written by these pervs, but is forced to because

1) Otto must know all their secrets.

(As TMI as they all are)

2) maybe this was all a ploy by Daemon to communicate to his spies in code.

(IT IS PERFECTLY IN CHARACTER FOR THAT DEPRAVED MAN TO USE HIS SON’S LOVE LETTERS TO TALK TO HIS SPIES)

Nobody appreciates how much he SUFFERS for this family, he is SO sick of this. And the letters aren’t stopping with time, if anything it has ESCALATED with age, these jerks went from one raven a week to two a day, he is SUFFERING.

Otto: I surrender. Just free me from the torment of reading their letters.

#lucemond #aemond x lucerys #aemond targaryen #lucerys velaryon #hotd #hotd fanart #fanart

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your-favourite-yapper · 3 months ago

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Mary macdonald hcs (sorta modern au) bc I love her*

Used 2 be bullied in primary school

Not that bad but she just was Not Liked

Has 2 younger siblings and raised by a single dad

Changed schools after begging her dad 2 let her

Watched some 2000s hs movies to learn how to be "cool" bc she didn't have an older sister or someone to tell her how to do that

Is now tech "popular" BUT

She still feels Not Enough

She's mean 2 ppl her friends are mean to

And nice to the ones her friends are nice to

Bc all it sound take was one wrong word, one mistep

And she'd be the weird chubby kid in school noone sat next to again

TRIES HER FUCKING HARDEST AND THEN SOME STUDYING

noone rage studies like her

She gets good grades but is always top 5 nvr top 3

Has cried once when she got 98% in Chem

Not in friend of her friends tho

Doesn't like crying bc she prides herself on being "perfect" mary

The one who always has her homework done and takes 6 APs and is in 5 extracurricular and is the head of 3 of them and is always in some sort of competion or event and is always w perfect hair makeup outfit and is always composed

Has MANY friends but 2 main friend groups

The valkries and like her "popular" friends (emmeline flo chastity)

Lowkey Dislikes most men as a default

"No one wanted to play with me as a little kid

So I've been scheming like a criminal ever since

To make them love me and make it seem effortless"

^^ that's her

Definition of faking it till u make it but she's "made it" and is still faking

Has minibusses every few wks on whether she even knows her "real" personality

Doesn't care abt fashion THAT MUCH

But she knos every microtrend since the 1960s

Half black and half white

And defo went thru a phase where she told ppl that she was acc only like 1/4th black

Bc all the popular girls in the movies aren't black

Teenage Girl

She spends 4hr every day on hair and makeup b4 school

Will always feel like the Odd One Out

Does Not kno how to read social cues

Loves acting dumb or clueless

Type girl to study for 8hrs for a test then act like she didn't even kno there was a test

Wants to major in robotics

(Mainly bc no1 would expect it and she loves the feeling of vindication she gtes whe she shocks ppl who assume shes dumb)

Low middle income family

But doesnt correct her friends when they assume shes upper middle

Has not been in a designer mall

Style is "boho vintage" and preppy pink

The "boho vintage" is clothes she sewed together instead of buying new ones

She just Gaslight every1 into thinking they were b9ught

Loves her friends to bits and pieces

In primary her friend group was odd numbered so every1 would pair up and leave her out

Now it's even w marlene lily dorcas and her and flo emmeline chastity and her

V territorial of the number of ppl in the group

Once when lily was getting a bit TOO close to alice mary pretended alice sent her death threats and alice gets bullied sm she has to leave the school

Either doesn't offer any personal info to anyone

Or tmis sm u get second hand embarassment

"I wish I wasn't such a narcissist

I wish I didn't really kiss

The mirror when I'm on my own

Oh God, I'm gonna die alone" <- also her

Actively oversexualizes herself to hide the fact that she's scared of sex

Has beef w sirius and peter

Peter bc he's the only person in her hs who was in her primary and so he knos what she was like then and she's terrified he'd told the marauders abt that (he lowkey forgot lol)

Highly problematic

Tries her hardest 2 be nice

But she just isn't

Has stolen countless girls bf

Only to dump the bf 1wk later

And start flirting w the girl

5" 5.5

Loves her hair

She's rjl coded but forces herself to be sob coded

Acc LOVES gory horror movies

Loves ice cream but generally prefers savory > sweet

The og Mirrorball girlie

Tried to start a diary for some "self discovery" but stopped after she realized she was faking it there too

Attractiveness = 75% looks and 25% (fake) confidence

"Please im a star....im a star im a star im a sTAR"

the type of person to Not Say Anything when 1 of her friends make a joke she finds annoying/hurtful and then slowly gets more and more mad at them till she ghosts them

Her aura is somehow both toxic green and pink

Is still v much Scarred from primary so even tho she loves her friends she still has "back up groups" she'd go 2 if her friends unfriended her

Has ghosted 2838383893 ppl

Lowkeg a misandrist

Loves to bake

"I just wanted them to like me 🥺🥺" <- her after destroying her perception of self

Cant cry properly bc she can only think of how stupid she probably looks

"Theyre probably going to cheat on me....i should cheat first"

Ways to show love quality time

Ways to recieve love words of affirmation + phy touch but even tho she gives the best hugs u can't hug her wo 3 days warning

Acc v funny

Like constant banger after banger

Looks like a cinnamon roll thinks she could kill you is a cinnamon roll

Pink lipgloss

Always thinks she takes things a Bit Too Far (she acc kinda does)

like her friend could be shit talking someone and she spends 30min talking abt how disgusting that person is and how gross they are and insults them and reads them to filth. (She doenst even hate that person )

hey I should yap -> pvershares for 2hrs -> wait no ew (post yap clarity) -> cool and mysterious era (20 minutes) -> hey I should yap

Genuinely loves her younger siblings but uses up all her energy at school so at home she's v much a bitch to them

Ev she can't even say I love u to them

Can't even sound the words out

Gen believes she ruined them

Loves : chappell mitski and sabrina

Pathological liar

Lies for no rzn at all

Fav color is yellow

Says it's pink

Loves summer

Says she loves spring

Chat she's a good person when it rlly counts I promise

ev she leaves hs

!! And she gets into her dream uni

Yay!!

And then...

Uh oh

U kno the thing that happens when ppl who were popular in hs can't make friends in college

Yea that's mary

But eventually ?? She gets better ??

She goes out on silly walks

And goes 9ut her home wo a detailed 20 step guideline on what to do and how to act

And takes shitty pictures

And forgives and forgets !!

And she grows closer to the valkries !!

And sings shitty karaoke shittily in shitty pubs

And she forgives peter

And she wears more yellow

and she calls her siblings every other day and doesn't have to pretend to be interested

and listens to "cringe" girly talk podcasts bc they acc help her

and it doesn't matter if her laugh is now a tad bit too loud and if its more like a snort

and if her hips grow a bit bigger

Bc she's Human

She lives n breathes and walks and she Healing omigod shes Healing

she starts living for the experience of living and doesn't view herself in 3rd perspective

and she's seeing w her eyes and not the eyes of others and wow

and in one of her classes she gets an 89

And she cries abit but it's Ok!!

bc she still learned

And mare friends in that class!!

And she was ok she was ok she was ok

she gets her 2nd choice internship

And celebrates messily w all her friends

but when the 1yr internship is over she doenst get a perm job

But it's ok!!!

Bc it was an experience she experienced in her lovely life !!!

U kno those tiktoks that go "me making straberry pancakes bc life didnt end when i was 16"?

Thats her

She dates a girl (!!!)

And they communicate

And she holds her and is held by her

And go on silly cirnge dates

And have meaningless convos

And then they break it off amicably

But it's ok!!!

Bc it was an experience!!!!

"And I couldn't be sure

I had a feeling so peculiar

This pain wouldn't be for

Evermore"

And then she gets invited to an interview at her 1st choice job

And she stares at the building from across the street

And realizes

She Made It

And she closes the street in her yellow pumps

And she's thinking abt what she's gonna write in her journal today and thinking of all her friends and it's all ok now and and OMIGOD IS THAT A TRUC-

she gets run over ://

And dies ://

She would've gotten the job :/

If she hadn't uh died ://

*not as much as my wife @mrstellmeafuckingsecret

#:)#I hope u liked this #If u r mean 2 me ill cry so #Yap tag

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hypotonuseisguud · 5 months ago

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C.B. headcanons because I'm insane about him!!!!

(productions will be specified if needed ^^)

Original London Cast C.B.

He sometimes forgets that he's not on radio and uses 10-codes while talking to people face to face

He has dyed his mustache before for the rockies when they were 'younger' (or however trains age)

Always has a small comb in his pocket even though he never uses it bc of his hat lmao

He loves 80s slang sm and is always using it. He says tubular and radical unironically and thats kind of iconic

He is SUCH a morning person! It's almost annoying how early he gets up and moving. He is out of the house by 6a and he just has to meander the tracks bc no one is up and work doesn't start until 8a

Pre-2018 Bochum Caboose

He wears suspenders and its so so bad. The ugliest things you've ever laid eyes on

TMI doesn't exist between him and Dinah.

^ Off of that: They've been friends since she arrived at the yard! I like to imagine that they got there around the same time, maybe Caboose a few months before

Seasonal depression like a mf but in the summer. He HATES the summer sm because he doesn't like the heat, and then he and his partner (either Electra or Greaseball bc i can't pick) can't cuddle without sweating to death

The can of pomade hates to see him coming. He uses so much, frankly TOO much, product in his hair. It's like a ritual that he takes like half an hour to do his maybe 6 inches of hair.

He isn't a morning person. Unlike OLC c.b., you cannot get him up before 8 and he is late to work almost, if not every day. How he hasn't been fired is a question no one can find the answer to.

im not doing B.V. because I strongly dislike him🩷 (im working on it but its so hard to like him when olc cb and caboose are right there) (im sorry bv likers😔)

#i love lovr love headcanons #starlight express #cb the red caboose #OLC cb #headcanon #stex

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jasontoddsdarling · 1 year ago

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jason coded

https://www.tiktok.com/t/ZT87EXE5Q/

first of all, finally my first anon on this account ily anon :>

and oh god, this totally is jason coded.

(trigger warning for the video: motorcycle accidents—already happened and the rider was okay and the second one's from afar barely visible on video. so no blood etc involved but i just want to put it here just because!)

JASON is terrified to death when he saw from the rearview mirror of his hypersport motorcycle that there's a motorcycle crash approximately one hundred meter behind him.

fuck, no, no.

it can't be you. he knew he should've insisted being the one in tailing, but you had said you can read map for shit so it's better for him being the one that leading the way.

he stops his motorcycle, and might as well leaps from the thing. he literally let his motorcycle lying on the side of the road.

he doesn't care.

because nothing more important than you, his girl.

he runs as fast as he can while mumbling, "baby, please tell me you're fine and it wasn't you."

and when he finally close enough, he can see that it's indeed not you, but a man—and a woman passenger—who got into a single accident. they're mostly okay, just shocked. their other friends have helped them.

after checking them once again and making sure they are fine, he sits on the side of the road a few meter away.

he's still a bit shaking even though he knows it wasn't you. he just couldn't imagine if it was you.

a few seconds later, he hears motorcycle engine close by before stopping, and then someone walking towards him.

"jay?"

there's you.

he can see you are already without your helmet, putting it on the seat of your motorcycle.

he stands immediately and hugs your smaller body to himself, tucking your head under his chin, relishing the beat of your heart close by himself.

"baby, your heartbeat... are you okay?"

"i thought it was you."

he holds you tighter.

"oh, jay."

your heart breaks for him.

"yeah. i am scared to death. i immediately ran away when i saw them on rearview mirror. i couldn't imagine if it was truly you."

you say nothing except holding him tighter and rubbing his leather-jacket-clad back. you stay like that for few minutes.

"shh, shh. it's okay, jay, i'm here. my heart is beating with yours."

and you're right. jason realizes he's more calm now. he's not shaking anymore.

"i'm sorry."

"nothing to be sorry for, jay. i would be scared too if it's the other way around. hell, i might be running while crying."

jason gives you a chaste kiss on the lips.

"so, your motorcycle is there, huh?"

you point to the red thing on the side of the road, afar from you.

"yup."

"want to give us a ride there?"

"of course. i will not let you out of my sight after this." he says as leading you to your motorcycle—which is actually his. "you'll lead the way. it's okay if you choose long route, as long as i can see that you're fine."

[tmi tl;dr, as someone who can ride motorcycle (the matic type though, not cool stuffs like men's motorcycles lol) myself, motorcycle accident, crash, or injury are no joke! i have been involved three times myself (unfortunately). two times when i actually rode the motorcycle myself and once when i was a passenger. the latter got me unconscious actually, albeit being the only single accident amongst other two. never had serious injuries (except few bruises here) but the emotional trauma definitely there. so please, please be safe while riding or driving.]

#jason todd x reader #jason todd x female reader #jason todd x fem!reader #jason todd fluff #jason todd fanfiction #mariea's drabbles #mariea's writing #mariea's mailbox

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transfemme-shelterdog · 3 months ago

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I have a question about how your relationship dynamic functions! I'm not sure I'd call myself a therian but I feel very very connected to dogs and, also have a huge interest in puppy play. When I'm attracted to someone it tends to be someone who brings out the dog in me, who could put me on a leash or at their feet and fullfil that need in me. I'm not very experienced in relationships though, and I feel hesitant on how I would approach the subject in a future potential relationship. It's not "just kink" for me though. It is of course fun sexually but I find that the puppy/dog part of me is also a big part of my personality and behaviour. How do you and your husband approach this? What sort of canid-affirming things can you even do in a relationship? I'm so curious.

Hey there Anon! Good question, and I can definitely relate to how you feel. Being a wolf is very much part of who I am as well.

Anyways, here's some affirming things (some TMI) that him and I do:

He calls me puppy as a nickname all the time, and talks to me like you'd talk to a dog.

I wear a leash and collar in private, and outside I wear a necklace chain with a tag with my name on it, as well as a "If lost, please call [HIS NAME/CELL NUMBER]" tag

He gives me head scritches

He says "good girl!" in puppy voice when I do something he likes or wants

I wear a wolf skull mask a lot of the time when we're being intimate, as well as a leash and collar

He hand feeds me (never in public, only in private lol)

He chooses what I eat

Belly rubs :3

He tells me to bark for him, and switches basic words with dog-coded words (i.e. "What's puppy barking about?" when he didn't hear what I said)

He calls my genitals "puppy parts"

During intimacy, if he's in the mood for being penetrated, and wants something a bit more than my puppy parts, he has me knot him while wearing the dog mask/collar/leash, and has me go full puppy brain, giving in fully to my wolf side

He lets me cob him (google cobbing if you don't know what this is)

I call him owner all the time

That's off the top of my head, but there's always more. Basically, he treats me like he would a pet dog all the time. No exceptions.

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no-goodbyes-no-regrets · 1 month ago

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Okay, so I don't know what your opinion is on Eddie, independent of Buddie, but I wanted to share something with you....I have been rewatching 911 for like the millionth time...as I tend to do💁‍♀️...and I must say, a lot of how they show Eddie resonates with me as a Demisexual. And I am talking seasons 2-5+

I haven't watched the Season 8b episodes yet because I binge them and Disney only releases 1 episode per week which is annoying. So, I don't know how they will write Eddie in these episodes.

But the other day I was watching when Eddie was having those panic attacks, suddenly the penny dropped and I stood there in stunned silence. I used to have these panic attacks and nightmares whenever talks of (arranged) marriages got too real or someone I was talking to got too close etc etc. What was ironic was that during that time, my "search for The One" continued unabated and there was nothing wrong with my libido. (Apologies for the TMI! 😂) People (read JKR) often confuse asexuality with a lack of libido which is not true for everyone. One is attraction, the other is sex drive!🤷‍♀️...two very different things!!

Anyway, I wanted to share it because there was some discussion...quite heated...on Tumblr...about whether Eddie was "gay coded" or not. I don't know what that means tbh...but all I know is that what they are showing on 911 about Buck and Eddie is not really as far fetched as some might have us believe.

One can GENUINELY go through life not questioning their sexual orientation or compulsory sexuality by simply chalking it up to -" I am broken on the inside because of my past experiences but no one has to know about it"....and it only tends to come out when you finally find a sense of belonging and safety (which tends to not be with your own family).

911 know what they are doing, and not just on this issue, is all I am saying.

Thanks for listening ❤️

I like Eddie just fine outside the buddie of it all. He's not my favourite but I don't hate him either. I loved the Eddie/Tommy/Buck dynamic from 8x05 - i hope they bring that back when Buck and Tommy get back together (or Buck/Tommy/Ravi - or both)

But I have to admit up until 7x04 and THAT kiss I was WAY more of a casual viewer and more into Lone Star and Tarlos, so I'm no expert on the earlier seasons.

But yeah you can absolutely go through life and not question your sexuality ("I'll check out a hot guy's ass, but that's normal") until something or someone opens your eyes and suddenly everything makes sense. And yeah that can mean you realise you're in love with your best friend. I just don't think (actually I'm sure) that's what they're doing on 911. I think if Ryan has to explain that Eddie is straight and loves Buck like a brother one more time... we better start praying for his sanity.

I've seen some of the gay coded comments and one reason people give on why Eddie MUST be gay, is that he's a terrible partner/boyfriend to Shannon and all of his girlfriends. But like... being kind of an asshole to women doesn't mean you're gay - it just means you're an asshole to women.

Eddie might be ace or demi, I’ve never given that much thought tbh.

Though none of that means you can't enjoy fics and edits and stuff about Buck and Eddie dating or fucking in every position imaginable - that's what fandom is for. If the show won't give it to you, AO3's got you.

#u-changed-my-life #eddie diaz #911 discourse

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gigabyte-flare · 5 months ago

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I don't know if other people feel this way, but Love and Deepspace has been surprisingly... healing for me?

When it came out a year ago, I remember seeing ads for it on, funny enough, Tumblr and I remember saying to myself, "there is no way that game looks like that" and come to find out that, yes, the game actually looks like that. I was even more surprised to find out that in addition to being an Otome, it was also an action RPG. I always found Otome games boring; adding RPG elements scratches that itch that was missing for me.

I had put it down for awhile until Sylus came out in July (?), I pulled for his first card and then put it down again (I was deep in my Zenless Zone Zero/Von Lycaon era; a surprise to literally no one). I'm not even sure what drew me back to it, but I got back into it at the tail end of Goodcat Code. Then of course they released Dragon Sylus and, being the textbook monster fucker I am, I was in my glory. What I wasn't expecting when I jumped back in was to get really invested in the game's story and, of course, really invested into Sylus.

On the outside he seems like your typical dark romance coded love interest, but once you play through most of his content, he's so much more than that. Yes, he is very much "touch her, you die," but he's also so, so freaking passionate. Just completely devoted and willing to do anything to make MC happy. He isn't subtle at all, he is so beautifully direct and that just makes my autistic ass so fucking happy.

Without getting too TMI, my dealings with men (derogatory), have been mostly negative, so unsurprisingly I am naturally very on guard around them, so interacting with Sylus has just been a very healing experience; to interact with a male, even a fictional one, and I don't feel the inkling to be afraid, I know he's not going to hurt me (one because he's not real, duh, but he would never, at least not without discussing boundaries). He is all about consent, which is apparent in his latest card. Even in a couple of his Secret Times, he's constantly asking for consent.

I don't know if anyone else does this, but I read MC's unspoken lines aloud, which I feel really adds to the immersion (I know it's probably weird but it's fun so...) but I think this is also another aspect that makes my autistic ass so... healed; I'm able to interact with him without the fear of saying something stupid or wrong. I think the other appeal is the fact that he isn't real, then again, I feel that way about all my fictional husbands; but there's just something really special about Sylus for me.

Holy shit, I did not mean to make this a novel. TLDR, interacting with Sylus has been such a healing experience for me, thank you Infold for creating him! Anyway here's a Sylus photodump for your troubles!

#gigabyte ramblings #gigabyte plays #sylus #love and deepspace

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selfship-shenanigans · 4 months ago

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For the smut headcanon prompts (if you want to)

A, C, I, T, X, Y, Z.

Tysm!! I'll answer these for both of them :3

A - Affection: How affectionate are they during sex? Is it different with people they're romantically involved with? Can they sleep with people they aren't?

Ray tends to be more affectionate than Ganondorf. They like very soft cuddly sex and will hold onto him tightly and kiss him (or at least touch foreheads) a lot. Ganondorf briefly entertained a few other lovers (all Gerudo) long before meeting Ray and slept with them a number of times, but he didn't really have any romantic interest in any of them. It was for pleasure, nothing more, and he always kept the affection to a minimum. Ray has never been with someone they weren't romantically involved with, and they probably couldn't bring themself to sleep with someone they didn't love. Sex is too big of a deal for them to be able do that.

C - Chatter: Do they like to talk during the act? If so what do they like to talk about? Is it just dirty talk or something different?

Ray doesn't usually say much. They're autistic (like me) and have a tendency to go semi- or fully non-verbal, especially during more intense scenes. They're also pretty rubbish at dirty talk, so it's not something they attempt very often. Ganondorf is a lot better at keeping his composure during sex and is very good with dirty talk He'll often whisper filth in Ray's ear to get them going, or he praises them, depending on the dynamic they're currently playing with.

I - Intensity: Do they like intense scenes? Or are they more a slow and take their time kind of person?

Ganondorf more so than ray. He's quite the sadist and enjoys strong power dynamics and other dom/sub stuff. Ray leans more towards softer, slower, more romantic sex. But that's not to say that they both don't also like what the other likes, they just have a preference, and will often meet in the middle or indulge the other.

T - TMI: Your opportunity to talk about any dirty thing you want to talk about with your muse. Could be kinks they like or just facts.

Ooh lets go with kinks.

Ganondorf - dom/sub for sure, especially a more master/pet dynamic*. He's def a sadist, like I said, but to a lesser extent, also a masochist. He likes Ray to be quite rough with him, when they feel up to it, and will let them bite and bruise and scratch to their heart's content as long as they don't mark him anywhere that his clothes won't cover up.

(*fun fact: this is actually the origin of him affectionately calling Ray 'pet' as a casual term of endearment.)

Ray - PRAISE, omg praise. Ray is very puppy-coded. If they had a tail they'd be wagging it nonstop. Also breeding. Like I've said before, Ray always used an elixir to make sure they didn't actually get pregnant until they and Ganondorf decided to have a kid, but it was always a big fantasy, for both of them. So it's something they def played around with. Size kink is another big one for Ray. They LOVE the fact that Ganny is an absolute giant compared to them and that he's big and strong enough to manhandle them, pin them down, and just make them feel so so small under him. Ganondorf likes it too. Ray is soooo tiny to him :3

X - X Ray: What's going on under your muse's clothes? Do they have any special scars or places they like to be touched or avoided? Describe their physique and anything else you'd like to expand on.

Ganondorf - you KNOW he's big and beefy under those clothes. Very muscular, but with a healthy layer of fat over everything, especially as he gets older. Probably a lot of scars from combat and other things over the years.

Ray - soft n chubby. THICC thighs with prominent hip dips. Tiddies not that big and kinda floppy when without a bra due to weight gain/loss throughout Ray's lifetime. Stretch marks all over, but mainly on belly and upper arms. They have the kind of skin that scars easily so they def have a few here and there, especially on their hands, but mostly from just small scratches and not anything serious.

Y - Yes: Do they have any specific turn ons? Things that will automatically make your muse say yes to sleeping with someone else. If not what are some other things that get them in a more romantic mood? Lighting? Dinner?

Ganondorf - with Ray, it doesn't take much to get him going. I think it's safe to say their very existence is enough XD. But he adores their curves, and even though Ray usually avoids wearing anything form-fitting as it makes them really self-conscious, anything that hugs their figure is all but guaranteed to turn him on.

Ray - they like to be felt up and dirty talked. Ganondorf making them feel small compared to him will have them turned on in an instant, and even though it's not really one of their major kinks, being reminded of the big age gap between them and Ganondorf can really help.

Z - Zones: Favorite places they like to be touched? Are some less obvious than others? Any places they absolutely hate being touched?

Ganondorf - he generally prefers to touch rather than be touched, but Ray knows about and will eagerly take advantage of the sensitive spots on his sides and the fact that fondling his chest and playing with his nips is a surefire way to fluster him 🤭 he secretly loves it. He also likes it when Ray threads their fingers into his hair while he goes down on them and they gently scratch their nails against his scalp.

Ray - they like to have their waist grabbed and their thighs/booty groped, especially while they sit in Ganondorf's lap. Their lower belly and inner thighs are very sensitive, which can be good when touched right, but it easily becomes too much. Some of their joints are a bit delicate, so Ganny has to be somewhat careful when manhandling Ray, even if they're enjoying it. Having their chest touched also doesn't tend to do much for Ray, at least not on its own.

#ask game #king of evil? more like the king of my heart <3 #an exceptional little hylian #hornyposting

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highwaysandglutenfreebyways · 1 month ago

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Today has been one of those days that reminds me why I am even attempting to start a gluten free foodie traveling blog. It has been a reminder why the time, effort, energy, research, and money are all going to be worth it. If I can help prevent the accidental exposure to gluten for those with Celiacs disease and other autoimmune conditions that require one to be free from gluten, then it all is worth it.

I love traveling and as a part of that I must eat, so I am documenting my experiences along the way so people can learn to travel while being gluten free safely, both locally and long distances. For me, even locally it is extremely hard for me to find safe places to eat or to buy adequate amounts of grocery. I hope that my stories and experiences relate to other Celiacs or food allergy sufferers and that I can help someone somewhere with my personal stories and experiences. I am going to combine my love of travel and eating and sharing to create a blog and a community of traveling gluten free foodies.

Just to be honest if you keep reading past this point it will be totally TMI, but in this space TMI is something we all must be comfortable with. The uncomfortable things in life are a part of life and for far too long it has been taboo to talk about our bodily functions and how they affect our body and affect our minds. It is like as a society we have decided that talking about poop and puke is this naughty thing to keep a secret. The truth is “shit happens”, it’s just life, if we have to live this life we must accept it in all its glory—poop, puke, and all the nasty little things we hate to admit are a part of life, as well as the beautiful things this life has to offer too.

With all that being said let me explain why today was such a crappy day.

Last Friday my love had wanted to try a BBQ place that we pass twice a week on the way to the airport for him to either arrive or depart. I was nervous from the get-go because it is a new place and there is this anxiety that comes from eating anywhere new because I just never know their protocols, menus, ingredients, knowledge level on gluten-free dining and cross contamination protocols. When I get anxious I repeat myself and can be relentless in restating those anxieties and then defending and justifying those anxieties over-and-over-and-over-and-over-and…you get the point. The anxiety around eating at places I’ve eaten before is one thing, the anxiety that comes from eating anywhere new is awful!

My love who we will call Mr. Love in this community and blog is experienced at ordering for me and sometimes gets tripped up because when he begins explaining that we need the bread and anything fried to be in a separate container as we will be sharing the food and because, “she has celiacs and cannot have wheat or gluten…” and their faces go blank so he switches to, “she is allergic to bread” and I butt in and say, “I have celiacs so no gluten, no flour, no wheat…” and they still just seem to focus on the bread it makes my anxiety even worse, because I know in that instance that they do not have the knowledge needed to ensure a safe dining experience in a state where cross contamination is actually punishable by health code violations and fines. However the only way to know for sure is to take the risk. Just like my tagline states “…taking all the risk of being glutened do you don’t have to!”

Our rib tips were not amazing and since I have been wheat free for so long I can taste wheat, barely, or rye based products in my food. I mean they are flavors I don’t ever taste otherwise in my diet and each has a distinct flavor profile. I swear I could taste the wheat flour in the rub on the ribs. I cannot be certain that is where the exposure was but it is the only thing I ate and the rib tips were crisp—as a gluten free home chef and baker I know that flour in rubs is common practice if your goal is a crisp crust on the final product so I am always concerned about seasonings when eating out. It’s called “oven frying” because the flour mixes with the fats and creates a crispy finish in the oven or smoker as if it was fried—best of both worlds; slow cooked and fried. I ate only 3-4 rib tips and decided that my stomach bloat and nausea had to be from them and that I should stop. I know now that had I continued I would not have made the hour journey home without some kind of bodily function emergency, and worse yet it’s a rural drive with no businesses or bathrooms available the entire hour home.

People commonly believe that exposure to gluten causes all the symptoms at once and that the person just gets a tummy ache, but I can tell you this is not the case at all, it’s actually very brutal on me and most everyone else and it lasts for days, weeks, months, and even years to decades later. The reason for this is simple enough; it’s AutoImmune. Which means when I am exposed to gluten protein from wheat, barley, rye, or malt containing products my body attacks my small intestine destroying the lining and making me even closer to death than necessary. The effects of the gluten exposure can last so long because it takes a long time for gluten proteins to make their way out of the body through the intestines. It can take 6 weeks or more depending on the person exposed. Every exposure shortens my life span and causes systemic problems (whole body). I am only 40 this year, a long slow painful death from eating doesn’t seem like something I want to live through and I don’t want others to either.

Why am I stating all of this as a precursor to what I am about to share about today is because if you are new to Celiacs or loving someone with Celiacs or have been living with Celiacs you need to understand what is going on with my body and yours and since this is my first ever post about this I decided some background is appropriate and necessary.

Celiacs is the ONLY autoimmune condition that MUST be treated with a gluten free diet! It is not optional! Not even a little nibble is acceptable—I have some stories to share about this journey I’ve been on for the last 6 years of my life transitioning from a gluten world to a gluten free world. Gluten free eating if you have Celiacs is not an option and it is not a diet that is going to make you lose weight and it is most definitely going to save your life and change your relationship with food. I hope that sharing my journey inspires and helps you.

Today was just awful! I was exposed last Friday, April 04 2025, and today nearly a week later the ultimate symptoms happened. I am a Dasher for DoorDash and I had to stop dashing because of exposure a week ago for the first time ever. I know some of you are already reading this and are skeptical of this or have experienced similar and feel like maybe you were crazy but now someone else has the guts to tell the ugly truths and you now feel heard and not so crazy—I hope you’re in the latter group because I know I was when I found an Instagrammer that I follow, she has made me feel so normal in this journey and has some amazing tips of her own (I’ll link her in another post). My symptoms made me late and caused me a contract violation which I am disputing due to the emergency nature and since I don’t have a habit of being late I will not have a permanent violation on my record, but nonetheless I had to stop working and hoped I could make it home after finishing the delivery that I was interrupted during.

Let’s go back to last Friday, the 4th of April. As I stated I picked my love up from the airport and we headed straight for a new to us bbq place and is also one of the last possible stops before an hour of driving through cornfields home. I also told you about how he ordered and we did the whole gluten-free no bread speech we go through each time ordering anywhere. So let’s jump forward to the food. The rib tips were noting to write home about; It could have just been the time of day but I will not be confirming this possibility.

I could taste the wheat I believe and I believe it was in the rub. Like I said the rib tips were crispy on the outside like they were “oven fried” in the smoker. I only ate 3-4 and I really didn’t enjoy them, I questioned every bite. My teeth are also destroyed from my Sjögrens, so it just was not a good experience all-the-way-around for me, and then it got worse when I started feeling the burn in my stomach.

That burn! If you know the burn you know the burn. I cannot explain the burn it is one you’d have experience to know what I’m talking about. It is a deep in the pit of my stomach burn that turns into belching and bloat and distention of my abdomen—that over stuffed Thanksgiving type bloat! Heartburn and deep guttural burping combined with nausea and hives in my hairline and itching skin and scalp…not a comfortable ride home.

The next day I noticed a breakout on my face and that my right hip was hurting. As the day went on I began to get stiffer and my muscles in my back and hip began to tighten making it hard to stand up straight and walk and sit, but I know I must keep moving through it. By Tuesday my hip and muscle pain and tightness turned into my entire right side from my neck down to my knee spasming and contracting causing so much pain and discomfort. During this time I haven’t been able to have a bowl movement; depending on my level of exposure I will either get constipated immediately or have explosive diarrhea followed by a period of constipation followed by another bout of explosive diarrhea amongst other symptoms, once the gluten is actually being expelled by my body days to weeks even months later sometimes—all depends on exposure level—all exposure is bad! So I’ve been constipated for a week but that all changed today.

As I was driving to pick up an order I could feel the spasm in my lower intestines and knew that I needed to use the bathroom. I was able to access the bathroom at the business I was picking up from however I couldn’t go. After leaving with the delivery safely in the bin in the back seat my body let me know to get to a bathroom immediately! Thank goodness for that BP I was near! The diarrhea, sweating, shaking, dizziness, and fatigue that came over me was unreal! It makes me feel like I’m going to pass out. Since I had been constipated for so long there was a considerable amount of discomfort going as well.

I thought I was finished after about 5 minutes but I my body had other ideas. Finally after about 15 minutes I was able to wash my hands and continue my delivery. I am so glad that the delivery was at a medial office because in that 9 minute drive I needed to get to a bathroom again! This bathroom trip not only was explosive but I had to grab the trash can and lost my lunch. I had told my app to pause my deliveries after I delivered to the front desk and after my bathroom experiences on that trip I decided to end my dash and head home. My delivery had taken me more than a quarter of the way home anyway, so it just made sense to go home and take care of myself.

I called Mr. Love on my way home and we talked and it helped distract me and keep me from pooping my pants in the front seat of the Tesla and vomiting. My stomach was hurting so bad and my intestines felt as if they were in a vice being twisted and pulled at the same time and I just needed to make the 12 mile journey home without losing everything all over the inside of our car. I made it home thankfully. Of course I had to go more but I did not puke more. I got in the shower and felt so refreshed afterward! The hot water helped to calm the spasms in my abdomen and helped me relax which also helped my stomach calm down.

After my shower I made myself a big glass of bomb pop flavored Liquid IV and took a 3 hour nap. When I awoke I was nauseous because I was hungry. Luckily for me I stopped at the grocery store last night and grabbed a 2 pack of Bob Evan’s single serve mashed potatoes, I have never seen these before but they were marked gluten free and on sale so I figured, “Why not?”, so I ate one of those and am still sipping my Liquid IV. I am feeling better but sleepy. Loosing all those fluids to diarrhea and vomit had me so dehydrated and I already struggle with hydration because of the malabsorption caused by Celiacs and Sjögrens, so I’m just feeling depleted. Liquid IV was doctor ordered many years ago for me and it is something I need to make sure to have more of in my lifestyle—it saves me every time I am dehydrated or just low on electrolytes.

What else amazes me after I dump like this and expel that poison from my body that is gluten, my joints and muscle and all other symptoms start to ease immediately and within a few hours it’s like I haven’t been hurting and barely able to walk this last week. My hip and neck and knee all not hurting, just some residual stiffness from inflammation, but even that has gotten better in the time it has taken to write this blog from my phone and make a Facebook post.

Today has been a really crappy day and I’m glad I am starting to feel better. I’m exhausted and going back to sleep. Tomorrow my body will begin its journey to healing from this most recent exposure. My last exposures lead to an Acetabular Hip Labrum tear that required surgical repair but on the left side—yes it was after gluten exposure caused so much inflammation and instability in my hip that revealed an injury at least, but it is possible it caused the tear.

Now I’m going to grab a small snack, sip my Liquid IV, and hopefully get some good rest tonight. I’m binging Big Bang Theory for the 17th time and it always makes me feel better. I’ll drift off to sleep to it and end up moving to my bed from the couch at some point—maybe.

Goodnight,

Phoebe

#gluten free #celiacs #celiac disease #autoimmune #Sjögrens #gluten free travel #gluten exposure #glutened #cross contamination #gluten free eating #gluten intolerance #food allergies #special dietary needs

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